Weekend Aug.27 - Aug.28

I feel bitchy.
I don't have a good reason why exactly but I feel like I did everything in spite of my list these last few days.
That's not to say I didn't have a good weekend.
In fact, it was super productive.
I can't think of a single thing that needed to be done that didn't get done.
Here's what I did;

--We put up new blinds. The flimsy white ones that are probably sold in massive discounts when a builder states that they are building duplexes, were falling apart. With the help of kids and dogs or course. We were starting to blend in with the neighborhood if that tells you any more...

The ones we go from Menards are the type I had in my house in Moberly. They.Are.Awesome.
They're called fauxwood; the panels are thick and heavy. Therefore, they block out massive amounts of light as well as look nicer then traditional "blinds" in an untreated window.
We did the front room and the kitchen. That's all we could (couldn't really) afford to do!


--Next, we attempted to repeat the darkening affect in the boys room since it also receives direct sunlight. Another $80 to put fancy blinds in their room wasn't going to happen. They are durable, but I doubt they would honestly withstand my kids having direct access to them. For their room it was a curtain rod and 'room darkening' curtains. It says on the packaging it blocks out something like 98% of light. I called BS on that and... I was right. It certainly darkens the room, but doesn't completely block out sunlight. Which is okay, I can handle improvement at least.

--Then, I put up a boarder of stars that glow in the dark in their room. Again, I smelled some BS and again I think I was right. While they do have a slight glow to them, I wouldn't trust 'em to navigate me anywhere.
Take a guess at how many times I had to fight the peelie paper and raise my arm above my head to stick individual stars in a random yet even pattern. No, you must guess! (258) okay, now highlight back over the last two sentences.
I'm sneaky... ain't I? :p
Anyway, it was a pain and I wanted to quit, but I stuck it out and it was worth every sticker to hear Shawn say, "Wow!" and that he actually likes it.

--I also planted a new plant. Which isn't all that exciting I realize, but I do like plants and new plants make me happy.

--I even filled my picture frames with...pictures! Yep, I'm one of "those" people who actually had picture frames on a shelf... without pictures inside. I don't know if it would have been better or worst to leave the dummy picture that comes with frames inside versus having just empty frames for about two months.

--I got new rugs for the kitchen in an attempt to cut down on the dirtiness of the floor in their. How does that floor get so dirty? More importantly how can I keep it clean for more then a day at a time?

--Most importantly though, I cleaned out baby clothes! It took me probably 4-5 hours to organize them, find what could be saved and box them up for other families. It is done now and it has been a project to be tackled since before I moved out of my parents house. It was sad to see some pieces go; especially the infant stuff because it's just so darn tiny! I had my moments though and moved on with it. Again happy that I stuck with the project as opposed to just giving up and leaving my mess strung across the garage for another week.


So... I wasn't unproductive I just went against being debt free and didn't spend any time doing anything actually on my list. So now I feel like I have to either add some of this ^ stuff to the list or get over the fact that this weekend wasn't part of "the list".

But right now, it's time to get up on Monday and start another week. I may be back sometime soon to add pictures to this post (I realize all of this will be more read-worthy with some color added).

Thanks for reading!

Tired of labeling them UPDATE (that's what this is)

Today was weigh-in day....
Survey says down one.whole.pound.
"boooo"
I mean.... it's DOWN as opposed to UP but let me whine again about how it is soooo slow going.
This weekend was decent.
I drank (a lot) on Friday night, but that was it.
I wasn't able to keep up with my food journal on the two days, but I'm sure that I was at least in the range of my counts.
I've been thinking of "pay-offs" when I reach certain numbers.
I'm thinking at ten pounds I am going to use a groupon that Mike got me for some spa activities...

I finished a book this week (you saw that!) 1/100.
I ordered another one... Water for Elephants.

I've been pretty good at getting up early. It's not *easy* yet. Before I can cross this off my list, it needs to be easy and consistent. It's going to be a while before this is crossed off... but I have plenty of time.

I brought up the Mardi Gras idea to Mike. Basically saying "I wanna go". Turns out he does too! Conveniently it's right around tax season time...
Potential problems: I don't have vacation until May this year and I was wanting to use nearly all my refund to tackle debt.
It may happen this coming year or it may be a while down the road.

hmm... what else?

On a slightly different note -- the kids started going to a new sitter. I think I am just about as nervous about it as they are. Wesson screamed yesterday and also today.... it absolutely breaks my heart. It's just being in a new place because it could have happened anywhere he went. Also, I was feeling bad because I didn't really prepare him for some place different... but what could I have done with a child less then two??

Shawn seemed to like it, he was in a decent mood yesterday when I picked him up. I was a little scared that something new would bring out the beast in him, but it actually seemed to have a neutral effect - he was neither good nor bad yesterday evening.

He is going to meet his teacher for Title 1 today. I'm so hopping that this specific structure and new environment will do well for him. I'm worried about his first day, tomorrow, though as he has to be somewhere on his own for the first time. I can't read him well yet -- he could be nervous and he could also adjust well I can't tell.

Why am I nervous though? Geeze, it is such a mom thing!

Okay, that's all I have for now.

"The Rescue" by: Nickolas Sparks (1/100)

I didn't struggle at all with the book. Sometimes, it takes me a while to get "into" the book. This one was Nickolas Sparks predictable, but that's why I forecasted liking the book.

The main character is Taylor. He is mid-thirties and unmarried when we meet him. He falls in love with Denise and her four-year-old son who has an undiagonsible condition that affects his speaking and processing abilities. They meet on a stormy night as Taylor finds Denises' wrecked car without Kyle (her son) in it. The book focuses on Taylor and Denise falling in love, but also Taylor's three decade struggle with his loss of his father.

Aside from the facts, the book itself made me a little aggitated at some points. I couldn't believe the crap that Denise put up with at some points! For about a month Taylor becomes distant with Denise and Kyle. He doesn't pick her up for work one night, blowes her off at lunch on mutliple occasions, and disapoints Kyle when he doesn't take him to a baseball game... on his birthday! That was Denise's last straw but even then she gives him opportunities to fix his problems.

It turns out that he is still blaming himself for his father's death as a child when their house caught on fire. What I did like was everyone in Taylor's life told him that he was wrong. I feel like this was the only thing that was going to save him from loosing Denise, Kyle, or some one else in his future.

Denise and I were similar in the way that I hate to feel desperate. I understood how she felt when Taylor was ignoring her and she didn't want to feel desperate. I've felt like that before and it's not of my proudest moments.

I realted to Taylor when he felt obligated to some one (in his case Kyle) even when you don't want to continue the relationship. I've felt like that with people I don't particularly want to be friends with but will do it anyway.

Wants my absolute favorite book because I didn't always relate, but it was simple and a fast read.

UPDATE ON THE LIST (2)

WEIGHT LOSS
Lost 4 lbs. this week :)
I've been GREAT throughout the week. I eat right and I take walks in the evening...
When the weekend rolls around I seem to throw it all away.
The beers add up fast as does the eating out.
I was disappointed on Sunday evening when I stepped on the scale and I was back to where I started.
Luckily by Tuesday (my 'official' weigh in day) I was back down 4 lbs.
I'm setting some small goals, starting now

1) consume alcohol only 1 night during the week (comeon' I go all out when I do so 'limit' isn't going to work)

2) be honest in my food journal on the weekend -- this will hopefully help me be more accountable and better behaved during this time.

The next step I want to take is more exercise... While I do walk at night I'm craving more. Going to the gym isn't always possible with the kids and then there is the fact that it isn't close enough to justify going after bed time. I know I have "THE 100 WORKOUT" to do but I maybe need to research some more.

READ 100 BOOKS
Got started on that over the weekend. I'm reading "The Rescue" by Nickolas Sparks. I'm on page 139 of 455... I had originally planned on having it done by this Sunday but I think it might be a little far reaching. I hope to make a dent in it today as I have a half day and nothing planned. Some reading might be relaxing.

FULLY FUNDED KIDS' SAVINGS ACCOUNTS
I only put $25 in each today, but that's more then I have done in months. I am hopping to do $10/week in each. So long as I am receiving child support then this shouldn't be a problem. However, Mr. Responsible is behind on his payments. I'm still always teetering if it's more important to 'save' or pay off debt.

BE DEBT FREE
Speaking of debt... Today I also paid off my (Mike's really... but we're one in the same when it comes to debt) Wal-Mart credit card.
I still have:
-My 1st Financial Credit Card ($585.00)
-My Discover ($850.00)
-Student Loans ($5,000)
-Car loan ($1,600)
-Lowe's ($1,000)
-Best Buy ($485.00)

Yikes, when it's on paper it seems so unmanageable.... but Mike's income goes towards a portion of Lowe's and Best Buy. The other's are all mine though! Luckily tax time gives me a BIG relief. My student loans will be knocked out faster next year when I'm done paying on my car and can use that money to put towards those payments. It's just so slow going! Especially when it's something that gets added to every month it seems.


Wow, this turned into a much longer post then I intended.
Somehow writing more words seems better though.

UPDATE ON THE LIST (1)

So now that I have my list out there I feel like I'm doing too much but not enough....
It's a weird feeling.
I thought I would at least say what I am doing:

WEIGHT LOSS
-I feel like this is going to be one one of the hardest goals but one of most the rewarding.
-I'm trying to be serious about it.
-Whenever I am considering eating the wrong thing I am making mental conversation with myself saying, "do you REALLY want this?" "is it WORTH it?"
-I am using a website called SparkPeople to aid in my success.
-Whenever I don't want to go for that walk at night or think that I don't have time I MAKE time and I JUST DO IT.
-I suppose I am using the "zero-tolerance" approach.
-I hope this lasts.

EARLY RISER
-Hit or miss....
-It's been really hard this week.
-I'm certaintly (random -- I feel like I have been using this word more then usual) getting up earlier, but it is only by 10-2o minutes.
-I felt better when I was allowing myself about two hours before I have to leave the house in the morning.

READ 100 BOOKS
-By my calculations I better get hussling on this one!
-I ordered a book from Amzon early this week.
-It is a Nicholas Sparks book, so I know that I will at least like it.
-I'm contenplating including the books that I have already read this year, 2011.


...That's about all I have for now!

Spray paint is a good thing.

Spent the day spray painting... things. Random things that have been on my "list" for a while. I didn't have anything planned today so I went to Westlakes and picked up a lot of spray paint.

Item #1 -- painted the green night stands in our room black. Here is a before picture but my apologies that I didn't realize you couldn't actually see that they were forest green before...

I wiped them down, turned 'em over, and taped newspaper over the places that didn't need paint. I thought I got it right after one coat but the terrible lighting in the garage only made me find more missed spots every time I thought I was done. Luckily, the heat let the coats dry super fast. Here's are few finished pictures.

Item #2 -- my favorite!

I've had this chair for 3 years. I picked it up at Goodwill for $15 and it's been sitting on my dad's deck for the last 2 +.

It was a little wobbly and rough from weather. Mike taught me how to take fine grit sandpaper to it to make it smooth and ready for a paint. Luckily, he helped me sand it otherwise I would have been out there for probably 45 minutes or more. Together it took us about 20 minutes and then we primed it. Turns out I need more primer and had to make another trip to the store. The gentlemen who checked me out both times remembered me. :) Then I put on two coats of yellow paint and two coats of clear lacquer. This is the final product...

Item #3 -- picture frames of one of my favorite poems.

I've had these frames for a while. I touched up the paint that I'd already had on them and I printed off the poem to go inside. The poem is Maya Angelou's "A Women Should Have"

I used double sided tape that I already had to hang them on my side of the closet door.

There you have it. My Saturday spent inhaling spray paint and pondering how to get yellow spray paint off of concrete...

I like all my creations and still have more on my "list" to do in the future but I'm always looking for more ideas. Especially if they are recycling and virtually cost free.

More to come.

Where I've come in a year

One year ago, I left my husband.

I had enough.

Couldn't stand that life any more.

I wanted to keep my house, but it wasn't worth it.

I remember thinking that I wouldn't find love again.

Who wants a young girl who has had two kids and has awful stretch marks?

That was honestly my biggest concern.

Looking back it was pathetic that I was so dependent on a man.

In all honesty, I think I'm still dependent on my man.

Mike, that is.

It's been just short of a year since we met.

Although it would have been a better life lesson if we hadn't met...

I am so glad we did.

He's made me so happy.

In a time in my life when things have gone so wrong.

Dismay, Divorce, and Death

I could easily be writing a different entry today.

Today I have hope.

I'm subconsciously planning my life for the future.

For all the things I had given up on in my previous marriage.

Being proposed to, getting married again, having more babies, buying a house...

The possibilities are really endless.

I don't think I would be able to say that same thing one year ago today.